a fighters battle with anxiety
I struck anxiety in the face and taught myself to be fearless.
That self-taught skill was crucial when my walls were torn down,
and the anxiety monster itself was loose.
I know better now how to handle her,
yet she still manages to shake me at times.
In social settings, I manage to hide her away,
but they don't know
how hard she beats me when we go home.
When I'm uncomfortable and *watched*,
she threatens to take over my body and paralyze my mind.
She's a constant voice in my mind,
tearing me down at every chance she gets.
A real bully.
A real mean girl.
On my journey,
I've learned a lot of truths,
truths I can fight with
fight her with,
when she attacks,
attacks with her big ugly lies.
I won't let her win.
I will fight her back.
I am a warrior.
I know because I've been at war with her since before I remember.
She doesn't play or fight fair,
but I won't fight dirty,
I fight with honour.
And I will keep fighting till she's defeated.
I know how this ends,
and it doesn't look pretty..