NB! please read this first. I'm not against facebook. I'm not paid to neither do or write this. I don't necessarily think facebook is a bad thing. It can - if used right - be a great tool. I'm simply trying to turn down the social-media game. Step-by-step. Facebook is neither the worst thing (or just a bad thing) that happened to me, I was on their for almost 10 years - that should prove it. I write this to share my thoughts and hopefully provoke you a little to think & reflect on how also you use your social-media and time. My goal is not for you to delete your facebook like me, but to share what it looks like on the other side of facebook. In my experience, that side of the story isn't the one that's told the most.
first // full of unnecessary content
Facebook is almost too predictable at times. Oh, it's christmas time? I think I figured from all the christmas trees floating around.. First snow? Don't even need to look out the window. The list goes on; new years eve, graduation, vacation, engagement, weddings.. And for some reason we think we need to know, FOMO (fear of missing out) I guess, but honestly.. I think we can live a happy life without seeing everyones christmas trees and I hate to break it to you, but the firework is more beautiful in real life than behind an iPhone-screen. Try to embrace the moment. That lesson was just as much to me as to you my dear reader. And if you even go outside (or just look out the window) you can see the snow in 3D! (it will be like old christmas movies, promise) And if you touch the snow it will be like Frozen "Do you wanna build a snowmaaaaaan?" Amazing, huh? I think being present and enjoying the moment is a rare feeling these days, unfortunately. Let's practise that.
second // stalking
oh, please don't get me started. I guess we're all guilty of this one at some kind of level, but honestly.. I actually want people to get to know me irl, not based on my facebook-profile.
But with that said I gotta admit, it also has it benefits, heh. What was his name again? Is she working there still? yeah yeah yeah, we've all been there!
**fun fact! what I miss most about the "stalking" part is seeing how many friends I have in common with other friends. Especially new friends or if someone just moved somewhere I know people. Idk why, but I guess we've all been like: How do THEY know each other? haha.
third // "ruining" the natural cycle
I read an article ones about how people naturally come in and out of our life's. Some are there for shorter periods (nothing wrong with that!). Maybe because of a schools, neighbourhoods, summer-jobs, camps or friends friends. Who knows? And others might be there for a lifetime - no hocus pocus, it's just the natural way of life. (a a little dash of engaging in people's life) He (I think it was a he) talked about how social media, especially facebook kinda "ruining" this cycle, because now - many years later - we have the opportunity to "keep in touch" with old classmates, childhood-friends we haven't seen since we were 7 or maybe even an ex. People we might have been meant to let go of. Let me just make this straight: There is no shame in letting go of people who are just not meant to be in your life anymore. But no need to be rude, people do have feelings. But be brave, people need to hear the truths.
Which leads me to the next point on my list:
fourth // "fake" friends
While I had facebook I occasionally deleted people from my friend-list. Oh no you didn't! Yes, I actually did. Here's the reason: I had this rule; if it would be awkward/unnatural meeting someone on the street or worse; I (or that person) would hide in order to avoid each other - then WHY in the world are we "friends" on facebook?! Fake friends? Ain't nobody got time for that!?
Another "rule" that's similar to the one above is asking yourself if you can call them without it being weird or awkward. (unless you, like me, have a fear of calling people, than this might be a bad question)
fifth // tagging
Lately one of the new "things" on facebook is tagging people on photos, videos or memes that either remind you of them, an intern joke or whatever. It can be fun, it can be hyped, but also just a liiiiiittle annoying when all those weird photos, memes or videos are all over & are just so incredible waste of valuable time. Unless it's about you. And it makes you laugh. Cause laughter makes life longer. & it's healthy. But all other than that; unnecessary and very time-consuming. So that defiantly won't be missed!
sixth // what she said
I have beautiful friend a whom wisdom and knowledge I admire, so when she also decided to delete facebook I wanted to hear her reasons and opinions on why she decided to delete facebook (it's translated from danish, but I translated it as accurate as I could) and hopefully it is also interesting and inspiring to you:
"In general because that the news feed and everything that comes with it contains unnecessary and quite irrelevant informations, that I can live without just fine. It's not something I've used a lot of time on before, but I just wanted to remove it, from my life."
I told her I absolutely agree, and she continued her wise words..
"I actually think Facebook is a good platform to share messages and events etc,. which is super good if you have an intention to it. And if you'd like to see a little from your friends life, despite distance. But now an inflammation happened, I think, and therefor it's now primarily self-promotion og image it's about, and I think many to some kind of level live through their facebook-me. And that's not healthy. So I'd like to get away from that for a good while."
- Malene Bech
seventh // self-promotion
Like Malene Bech said above, "..it's now primarily self-promotion og image it's about, and I think many to some kind of level live through their facebook-me." Have you ever been scrolling through the feed observing people competing to get your attention with new profile pictures, "perfect" love or fun fun vacations? It's almost exhausting at times and maybe you're even wondering about how much of it is actually real? Or what's going on behind the camera? I'm not talking about being suspicious about everything. That might be even more exhausting. But just because someone managed to smile on one photo (or 5) doesn't mean that 2 weeks with 4 kids was only smiles. I mean. It's life!! Nothing to be ashamed of. An no, ofc people don't want to film the arguments or share the blurry photos. But guys, That doesn't mean everything is perfect. We're humans. And sometimes we need to remind ourselves about that. Who are the person we are putting out there? I don't wanna be Miss Perfect. My goal is to be Miss Authentic. I'm not saying I'm better, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be intentional. Honestly, I got so tired of all of self-promotion that I ended up not posting at all. And later on deleting facebook.
I like hearing real stories. I want to be more intentional about knowing people for who they are, not who facebook (or other people) say they are. I love how this quote puts it which I think is very timely for these social-media-time:
The reason we struggle with insecurities because we compare our behind-the-scene with everyone else's highlights reel.
eighth // rebel
I have to admit; I like the rebellious feeling I get out of this. I almost feel like I go against the whole society. Hah. Like this quote is stating..
I might not be that "rebellious", buuut.. let me have my fun. I like going against the crowds, go where not many people go. By deleting facebook I feel like I go the opposite direction of a lot people, that not said I'm not on other social media (I'm a big lover of Instagram, & yes I think you should follow me), but in my experience facebook is the most common social-media-platform.
ninth // the PPP (profile picture pressure)
Do you ever feel the thrill of uploading your new profile pic? Am I getting likes enough? Is that person gonna like it? Does it look like I'm trying to hard? Am I pretty enough? Am I gonna get more likes than the previous one? More likes than that person? Did I edit the colours too much? I can't be the only one finding this pressure kinda exhausting? Also a little exciting. My adrenalin is surely pumping. And then when the likes starts coming. Oh shit. You are kinda showing your face to the whole world wide web. Can feel a bit vulnerable. So I did it less & less. Facebook even reminded me to change my picture cause it's been so long. Weird. Ironic. So yeah, not having to worry about that anymore is a relief.
So I hope this have provoked you (just a bit), made you rethink your thinking, inspired you, even made laugh (come on!) and made you reflect about your choices and being more intentional with your time.
If there is something you don't understand, want me to tell more about or just simply wanna ask a question. Please don't hesitate to ask (!!!) in the comment section below, contact, mail or through Instagram. I would loooove to get a conversation going. But please be kind. We're all people here. With feelings. And we all need to respect that. Thanks for reading ALL of that. You're awesome!